The Stupidity Of Some Men!

By Arthur Mwenkanya Katabalwa

You've got to live on the wild side..

 

The festive weekend is over. I would like to thank all my Muslim friends for the extra day off over the weekend which I thoroughly enjoyed. But isn’t there a way that you guys can warn us in advance of a public holiday? I waited until 2000hrs on Sunday evening until the announcement came that Monday was a public holiday! And then I had to scramble to go and stock up on the Devils’ nectar.

Speaking of the weekend, I had the most bizarre conversation with someone more stupid than I am (difficult prospect me thinks!). On Saturday, he had an hour to kill in Ntinda, a suburb of Kampala, before an appointment. He had an extra 10000 shillings on him and out of curiosity walked into a pharmacy just to window shop (as you do). While inside, the attendant asked if he needed help. I think he had walked about in the shop for far too long. He pointed out (due to his own stupidity), that he wanted a pack of condoms! So the attendant asked him which brand he wanted and he pointed out the nearest to him which to his own admission was too expensive.

If one has got themselves is this kind of predicament, it is difficult to get out. You see, when women go to buy contraceptives, they are thought of as sensible. Better still if they are well dolled up for the evening and they buy a pack of Engabu (do they still exist?), they will be looked on as planning well for the evening; taking precaution. On the contrary if a man were to walk into a condom place looking sleek, feeling like a million bucks and he’s like “Love, can I buy a pack of your finest, cheapest jonneys?” Just think! You will receive visual daggers.  Everyone will think “He is a dirty bastard!”

Evolution of man?

 

Well, in light of those perceived conceptions, my friend decided to go further. He was by now feeling extremely guilty. He had to buy a pack of condoms so with all the guilt in the world, he asked for a cheaper brand. It was 1000 shillings. So he asked for a pack and walked out of the pharmacy feeling as if he had just done a drugs deal. He said to me that he thought that everyone in Ntinda was thinking “You are a dirty bastard!” Then he had a cracking idea (and this is where I want to disown him). He waited twenty minutes and went back in the shop, hair rustled a bit, and asked for another pack. Over the next hour, he went back at given intervals to buy a pack of condoms until when the attendant was thinking he was looking worse for wear, asked him if he was OK.

Men are useless when it comes to medication. That isn’t a scientific assertion but in my own experiences, I have only come across one male who has been ok with medical procedures and he is a 5 year old lad; which puts many to shame. In their normal day to day life, ladies are used to medics, sometimes truly invasive procedures. Visit a dentist’s surgery and the men will look like they are being taken to the slaughter. The ladies will be cheery looking on. That is the same when it comes to things like condoms. We are not wired that way; to admit that we use contraception. It is a difficult subject. But when it comes to doing stupid things, we are at the front of the queue. Next time anyone of you who walks into a lift, please don’t turn around to face the doors. Just remain looking at the wall. I have done it before when I was still at university. The reaction I got from the public was hilarious. Needless to say I rode the lift all the way to the fourth floor alone! MEN!! Tut! Tut!