My Twin Is Lesbian

By Arthur Mwenkanya Katabalwa

Recently I had an email from a friend of mine in The USA asking me about sexual attitudes in Uganda especially after the Anti Mini law of Father Lokodo and The Anti Gay bill. I assured him that sexual attitudes in Uganda were not entirely different from the western world. Only difference was that we were allowed to be openly and aggressively anti gay, something which was frowned up on and in fact illegal in the west.

 

It took me back to the only conversation I ever had about sex with my father. While at boarding school, far away from home, scared and confused, two events happened almost simultaneously. Two boys in my school were caught in.....how can I call it,......a compromising situation. They were hauled before the headmaster and given a good ticking off.

 

At the same time, a very close female friend of mine whom I was writing to on a weekly basis was also allegedly caught in a compromising position with another girl at another school. I have since established that this very close friend of mine is actually lesbian. We have been so close for 25 years that we call ourselves twins. Yes, my eternal twin is lesbian and I love her even the more.

 

In a panic, I wrote to my father and told him about the two boys. He drove to my school immediately and told me about gays. Looking back, I realise that my father wasn't gay bashing. He just called it divergent sex. Basically not what was regarded as normal. I placated his mind that I was writing to a multitude of girls while at boarding schools and he increased my monthly allowance. Thanks Dad for the extra money and Rest in Peace.

 

Later on while wasting my youth away, I was on a drunken weekend at Bath Spa University, England, when I first came into contact with "a proper gay". James was stereotypically flamboyant, always in your face and so effeminate! He was so gay. Later on as I got to know him, I realised that he was "just James". Nothing of particular concern other than he shared his room with another man. I plucked up the courage one day and asked him what was the matter with the warmth of a woman that he found so repulsive. He asked me the same question in reverse! From then on, we learnt to respect one another.

 

Then while I "grew up" I befriended a girl called Emma. Very nice, kind and extremely personable. But also very lesbian. She couldn't fathom being intimate with a man. It made her physically sick. We became so close that at times while waiting for a train to work and a pretty woman sauntered by us, we read each others mind and laughed. So strange that we were of opposite sex.

 

The issue of sexuality and the control of sexual relations is as old as humanity itself. We see how religion calls for women to cover their hair or in other cases their whole body. Are we men that weak that any sight of female flesh we go doolaly? That is a way of controlling women. In certain societies, we have female genital mutilation which I personally find so repulsive. Some explain the practice as a way of preventing women from enjoying sex. Why not?

 

But the issue of gays and lesbians in my opinion is a waste of time. The Ugandan journalist, The Old Man Of The Clan Andrew Mwenda once asked how it would be prevented; "Adults are so devious that once you have two consenting adults nothing can be done about it." He said. And as for the spread of gay propaganda to childred, well, lets stop it happening but people are wired up like that. Certainly those boys at my school hadn't read it anywhere. They just knew about it! Having said that, humanity will always go on attacking those who don't belong to the majority consensus; be it racial or sexually. And it isn't just a Ugandan problem. Its humanity as a whole. But is it right?