Sserubidde dumps partner; She only gives birth to girls!

By Arthur Mwenkanya Katabalwa.

This morning as I had my breakfast I nearly spat out my cornflakes at one of my colleagues. The headline in The New Vision read (and I am not making this up), Man dumps wife for producing only girls.

According to the paper, a one Mathew Sserubidde has decided to dump the mother of his three daughters. She has apparently failed to bear him an heir. He is set to wed another woman hopefully she will bear him an heir.

This is so wrong on so many fronts in my view. The said Mr Sserubidde has come to the conclusion that it is entirely his ex-partners fault that she has thus far given birth to only girls? I am not an expert on fertility matters but can’t it be his fault as well?

I have had of incidences in Uganda where a couple has taken long to conceive after getting together. And the way some of us have taken matters in our hands is despicable. As the lady has walked by, we have pointed with our mouths, which must be a Bantu trait, pointing with the mouth; in the general direction of the lady saying: “Oyo muguumba!” (that one is barren). It can be a man’s problem as well; firing blanks so to speak.

Unfortunately this isn’t a local problem. Other countries like India and china have been rumoured to abort babies solely due to their sex. In the United Kingdom a debate once raged about a couple that wanted to choose the sex of their next baby because one that they already had was suffering a degenerative medical problem and a particular sex of their next child would help them with internal organs.

The desire to have a boy according to Mr Sserubidde is the desire to have an heir. What’s wrong with a girl being an heir? And this isn’t a question that is unique to Uganda alone but in many areas of the world. Society sees the male as the only that a lineage will be maintained. However, in my view, there comes a time when some of these things need to be scrutinised.

But on this occasion,  this gentleman has decided to find another woman whose parents are actually encouraging it. The poor lady is going to be petrified when she gets pregnant because woe betide her is she has another Sheila.

 

The Stupidity Of Some Men!

By Arthur Mwenkanya Katabalwa

You've got to live on the wild side..

 

The festive weekend is over. I would like to thank all my Muslim friends for the extra day off over the weekend which I thoroughly enjoyed. But isn’t there a way that you guys can warn us in advance of a public holiday? I waited until 2000hrs on Sunday evening until the announcement came that Monday was a public holiday! And then I had to scramble to go and stock up on the Devils’ nectar.

Speaking of the weekend, I had the most bizarre conversation with someone more stupid than I am (difficult prospect me thinks!). On Saturday, he had an hour to kill in Ntinda, a suburb of Kampala, before an appointment. He had an extra 10000 shillings on him and out of curiosity walked into a pharmacy just to window shop (as you do). While inside, the attendant asked if he needed help. I think he had walked about in the shop for far too long. He pointed out (due to his own stupidity), that he wanted a pack of condoms! So the attendant asked him which brand he wanted and he pointed out the nearest to him which to his own admission was too expensive.

If one has got themselves is this kind of predicament, it is difficult to get out. You see, when women go to buy contraceptives, they are thought of as sensible. Better still if they are well dolled up for the evening and they buy a pack of Engabu (do they still exist?), they will be looked on as planning well for the evening; taking precaution. On the contrary if a man were to walk into a condom place looking sleek, feeling like a million bucks and he’s like “Love, can I buy a pack of your finest, cheapest jonneys?” Just think! You will receive visual daggers.  Everyone will think “He is a dirty bastard!”

Evolution of man?

 

Well, in light of those perceived conceptions, my friend decided to go further. He was by now feeling extremely guilty. He had to buy a pack of condoms so with all the guilt in the world, he asked for a cheaper brand. It was 1000 shillings. So he asked for a pack and walked out of the pharmacy feeling as if he had just done a drugs deal. He said to me that he thought that everyone in Ntinda was thinking “You are a dirty bastard!” Then he had a cracking idea (and this is where I want to disown him). He waited twenty minutes and went back in the shop, hair rustled a bit, and asked for another pack. Over the next hour, he went back at given intervals to buy a pack of condoms until when the attendant was thinking he was looking worse for wear, asked him if he was OK.

Men are useless when it comes to medication. That isn’t a scientific assertion but in my own experiences, I have only come across one male who has been ok with medical procedures and he is a 5 year old lad; which puts many to shame. In their normal day to day life, ladies are used to medics, sometimes truly invasive procedures. Visit a dentist’s surgery and the men will look like they are being taken to the slaughter. The ladies will be cheery looking on. That is the same when it comes to things like condoms. We are not wired that way; to admit that we use contraception. It is a difficult subject. But when it comes to doing stupid things, we are at the front of the queue. Next time anyone of you who walks into a lift, please don’t turn around to face the doors. Just remain looking at the wall. I have done it before when I was still at university. The reaction I got from the public was hilarious. Needless to say I rode the lift all the way to the fourth floor alone! MEN!! Tut! Tut!

 

We Refuse To Grow Old Gracefully.

By Arthur Mwenkanya Katabalwa

There was a story on the BBC a while ago which showed that people of a certain age (like me) are continuously choosing to go for vacations where they can have fun http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p021qqp9. The over 40s are increasingly choosing to book their vacations to resorts like Magaluf, Ibiza and others the BBC finds out. We are refusing to age gracefully.

Last week, I was at a friend’s office in the evening having a cup of tea and biscuits with him when he told me about how he likes spending the weekends with his wife of 15 years. “I take her to Ange Noir and SQUEEZE HER!” he told me. This took me aback; these two go to Ange Noir and dance like kids who have just escaped from home. How cute!! Does that then sound like many of us do not want  to grow up.

Looking back, I think of what our parents were like when they were our age. We saw them when they were our same age but Lord they were not as badly behaved like we are. They kept certain decorum. Yes, many of our fathers are/were monogamous (some serial monogamists) but I can’t remember them going out and do what we are getting up to. Maybe it was the times. The political situation was not that stable. Or is it that as many of us were cooped up in boarding school we didn’t get to see them? It may be that rather than our more connected generation, they are from an era when they kept a lid on things.

But looking about me now I like the look of things. A number of my contemporaries post  some rather risqué photos of themselves on Facebook and I look on absolutely horrified wondering what will happen when their kids come of age and see these photos, But we seem to throw caution to the wind and go on regardless. It doesn’t help that our partners have been known to us for a life time.

Plastic surgery Addict, Jocelyn Wildstein

My father (RIP) once used a nick name he had for a school friend of his within my earshot. I could see that they both found it uncomfortable. Now, I am attending weddings where I can hardly remember my friends real name (Jova, that was a lovely wedding) because I have called him so since we first met. (How embarrassing can that be?) Last weekend I met up with another friend of mine from high school and I never hesitated to call him by the names I have always called him by, since school. His wife didn’t seem perturbed and neither did his lad. In fact I honestly think that he calls him Davie! When his kids spoke, I realised that they were using the same kind of slang that I have partially forgotten. His 14 year old daughter ran into the lounge and she was like: (that word ‘like’) “Dad, kara has fired!” to which he answered “Sawa”. If I had used that language to tell my father that we had a power cut he would have propagated a slap at 27MPH towards my sorry face! No sloppy language.

I think it’s the raise in a more affluent middle class that is more connected. We are vaguely aware (I am) to what our kids are getting up to. So we feel like getting more stuck to our youth and I see no problem to that. As long as I can go out and dance, get drunk and get up to all sorts of debauchery I will exercise my rights. After all my father told me that life isn’t a rehearsal. This is it.

 

Juliana Kanyomozi Beyond Grief.

By Arthur Mwenkanya Katabalwa.

Juliana Kanyomozi



 

Juliana Kanyomozi is going through a very public grieving of her son Keron. Today he is laid to rest in Matugga. Since the news about the death about her son started filtering through the public, there was a collective gasp. People have attempted to rush to her aid and share with her grief. Rarely do we see this level of intensity and concern. Recently we also had Olavi, the lad who died in Lake Victoria.

Why do we have such mass reaction to deaths like this? I don’t know Ms Kanyomozi personally. And I know she will probably never ever know of my existence but hard a nut as I may be, periodically described as emotionally incompetent, I do feel sad for Juliana.



Juliana and a younger Keron.

She has crafted herself into this wholesome lady that people of all ages have a connection with. With incredible beauty and poise, she has a voice to match. But you see, Ms Kanyomozi has not only relied on her good looks and voice. We all feel like we own her. We all feel like she is a sister, a friend, some (and no doubt many) have massive crushes on her. She has her failings, insecurities and doubts which are public again, but are not unreal. So in that aspect she doesn’t feel so much removed from all of us mere mortals. Yet when she opens her mouth and lets out a ballad, we are all firmly aware she is different. If one were to look at her talent, it isn’t produced. That’s her singing.

Humanity has ways of wanting to own these people. And while I am not suggesting anything [yet], we have people like Diana, Princess of Wales, Marylyn Monroe and the like who are national treasures. There are singers like Kylie Minogue who are a class apart. In Uganda, Juliana Kanyomozi is that Kylie Minogue, a class apart. People like Trevor McDonalds of the UK are trusted by the nation at times of national distress and for a long time he delivered the bad news. Here, whereas he seems timeless, Bbaale Francis still sits at the top of his game. Only people like Maurice Mugisha of NTV are creeping up on his crown.

People with a great talent or massive presence who then endeavour to remain grounded invariably get more elevated. To do that and remain true to ones roots is an achievement in itself. Keron, in his short life has been fiercely protected by his mother. Whereas she spoke lovingly of him, she still maintained his privacy. I bet many people knew he existed but hardly knew what he looked like. In his death, we, who haven’t known him in life, celebrate his living. We know that he gave his mother inspiration and the faith to face life. Like his mother, we also owned him like a son or brother.

If it hadn’t been for her music probably no one would have heard of this lady that many people want to refer to as The Princess of Tooro. And maybe Keron would have had even a more ordinary life. That she has lost her son is tragic beyond belief. We all know that that lad has been her breath, her life and inspiration. We all, with baited breath hope that Kerons’ death doesn’t impact on that voice from Tooro.

National Identity Card registration; A Swell of Nationalism

By Arthur Mwenkanya Katabalwa

Museveni Registers For The National Identity Card.

There is a certain level of cynicism that we all possess as a general public. In the last few months we have seen a number of issues come up in the media that have shaken our confidence in The Government of The Republic of Uganda. A few people have tried to protest at the inadequacies that they see the government possesses by not singing the anthem. But queuing up to register for the national identity card brings out that latent pride in one of their country.

The national identity card programme has been in the offing for several years. Our government has poured billions of shillings in it, we have seen failed computers and heard of corrupt officers who try and make people pay for this service when it is actually free of charge. But across the country the exercise, in my view, is going well, albeit a bit behind schedule.

I am not entirely sure about the finer points as to why one needs an identity card. Some countries in Europe like Germany has required its citizens to own one. In fact I have seen them flash them at border crossings at Calais and at Ibiza airport while I fidgetted with my passport. I understand that one will be able to travel within the East African Community countries with just that identity card which surely can’t be a bad thing.

The Identity cards will compliment passports.

In the Queue at a non-descript nursery school near the UWESO offices in Kitante/Kamwokya, I detected a huge swell of pride in Uganda. People were patiently waiting for their turn with the officers. Most of us could recite where we came from. I could remember where my father and my grandfather were born down to the sub county. And that made me feel very Ugandan. Very proud of this green, lush, dusty, beautiful country full of amazing people and the food is all fresh.

A family from Lewisham, South London was standing in front of me. The father John, his wife and three grown up children have flown in to Uganda just for this one hour long moment. The daughter, Kirabo 17, has only “holiday memories” of Uganda. She is basically as English as they come but the feeling of belonging to her ancestral home was overwhelming. “Dad has always brought us back to Uganda to see family in Kanyanya. I have a Ugandan passport but having an ID will make me feel further Ugandan” she said in a South London drawl. “We may never stay in Uganda permanently but we are never abroad in Uganda. We are home.”

To the surprise of many people, I included, a Chinese family was also patiently waiting in the queue. They could hardly string a word of coherent English between them but clutched Ugandan passports so tightly their hands were white from the pressure. I failed to speak to them but from the looks on their faces I could see that they were making that transition as well as dual citizens of both Uganda and China.

We are all Ugandans. All of us who may live abroad in Europe or America, whether we have been born elsewhere, hold dual citizenship or whatever, we are all Ugandans and very proud to be! This is a national duty to all. Forget about the politics, this is for our motherland, Uganda.

 

 

 

Let Us All Fast!

By Peter Bishop



King Oyo (R) With President Yoweri Museveni. PPU Photo.

If you don’t know it as yet, then get it from me. The King of Toro did fast for a full week after being advised by President Museveni that it was good for trimming his buggy self. It was a first for a King in Uganda to declare a fast after being dared. You may think that King Oyo didn’t know about the benefits and ways of keeping healthy after studying from some of the best schools in the world.

I am sure he did, but what was wrong was failing to interpret the wise words from the old man with a hat. The message wasn’t really about fasting but respect. YK7 as the hipsters’ call him has been Uganda’s president for over 28 years. He restored the kingdoms in the 90’s and joined politics before most of us were born. If you still don’t understand what am writing about, just check the archives of the local daily newspapers.

So how could the King of Toro who by the way was educated using your taxes dare the hand that gave his kingdom a lease of life?  I can’t answer it. Did he want to show the country that he has finally grown or his advisers had just had a cup of the local brew? Did he forget the oil dollars from the East had dried up?

Let me advise this young King of Toro. You don’t dare a man who has manoeuvred the regional politics and succeeded. You probably don’t have the balls to do what he has done. But well, you are a King. So continue fasting. Make it an annual event. Ask your kinsmen to join you. Pray for your kingdom. Pray for your subjects that they may get out of abject poverty. Lead your subjects in doing income generating projects other than politicking. Champion the HIV/AIDS programs in your kingdom. Don’t forget to fast for your sister. 2014 wasn’t her year after the Duke duped her and both gave the tabloids a little manna from heaven.

What about the leadership of this country? I expect it to fast the whole year. Scratch that. Let it fast for the next 5 years. Am not kidding or fasting!! For the past 28 years, they have failed to trim off the burden that has prevented the Pearl of Africa from making huge strides in making life better for her citizens. So this time, they need to fast. Trim off that pot belly of corruption, poor service delivery, stock health centres with drugs, return missing lanes of roads, reduce government expenditure and as well retire and let the young blood that can fast take over and lead Uganda to a first world.

The list of things to fast for is very long. Dude sorry your highness, why not join us and we fast for this country? Don’t you love her like we do? Don’t forget to invite your mum and sister.

Angelo Calls Gloria...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MTWgkiayL7E&list=UUQTBmGtDE9Kpfb6Wg9JUkZA

The Changing Eating Habits In Uganda.

By Arthur Mwenkanya Katabalwa

There is food in Ugandan markets.

Recently I was invited over for dinner at a friends’ house on Gayaza road. I was excited about seeing him and his family. We hadn’t been in touch for a while. Personally, I dreaded a few things. What if he had changed from what I knew him to be like? But most importantly, I was worried about the dinner itself.

I have decided that it is about time that one loses a few inches round the waist. And on this particular evening, I was trying to find ways of excusing myself from filling my face. Thanks be to God when we sat down in his pagoda, the dinner was lovely but it wasn’t the heaps that I was worried about. We had some chicken and season vegetables all dashed with a touch of olive oil washed down with dry white South African wine. The evening felt decidedly Mediterranean. The timing was perfect as well. Dinner was done by 2000 after which we retired to another part of his extensive gardens to partake in some more merriment.

That was definitely not the kind of Ugandan evening I was expecting. Dinner in many households is had at around 2100. In many cases we eat a lot of “stoge”, high carbohydrate food washed down sometimes with a high sugar carbonated drink or better still a fruit juice. And then after that we then go to sleep with this mound of cassava stuck in our guts. Invariably we wake up in the morning still feeling well and truly full.

Over the last few months I realised that I was pilling on weight. For a while I was excited about Ugandan food. Lunch was a party, with my plate heaped high with mere yyona. Rice, potatoes, Katunkuma, beef, binyeebwa….. The works. And then the hour after lunch would always be a difficult one as I fought to stay awake in the heat. In my view, I bet economic activity in Uganda falls by a huge percentage point in this hour as the population struggles to stay awake.

Can I say that this is bad? Certainly not. We had days not long ago when food was scarce in the country. But if anyone were to visit some of the food producing counties like Kyaggwe you won’t believe how much food is being produced. Any markets one may visit are well stocked with all kinds of fresh food most of which is at affordable prices. The supermarkets are also well supplied with this food.

The good thing though is that unlike me, many people in Uganda have started taking on a more active lifestyle, watching their food intake. There are more people doing exercises. I attended a gym in Bugoloobi about a fortnight ago and this man made me do some exercises whereby he brought me within touching distance of death. He was making me dance at an incredible speed. I will go back sometime. Not yet though.

We have an incredible array of food and I can see things are getting better. Men with distended bellies are no longer in vogue. Our eating habits are what we need to change. Surely lounging about by the lakeside stuffing ones face with mpuuta will one day go out of fashion but as for this weekend, I will be sat at my favourite spot quaffing!

 

 

 

The Church And Its Never Ending Fundraising Drives.

By Arthur Mwenkanya Katabalwa

 

This morning I am in a very cantankerous mood. Last Sunday, I attended church for like the second time in a long time and my reluctance to attend church over a long period of time was reinforced. I belong to the world wide Anglican church. My father was a man of the cloth and I have many personal ties to the church. So I feel I can direct my ire at it without reservation.

 

We go to church to blame Satan for all our transgressions. Basically stand there and point at Saturn while God goes "Tut, Tut, Tut". I know some people where Satan has pointed back at them and said to God "Their fault" and no come back was possible. It wasn't Satan's fault.

Namirembe Cathedral, the oldest in Uganda.

 

The service on Sunday was brilliant. The Reverend was bang on time. A hard hitting sermon that lasted just over 26 minutes. Yes, I timed the fellow! Some of these guys have a tendency to love their own voices and go on until such a time that when they descend from the pulpit, there is a great awakening. This guy was done in such a short time we clapped!

 

Then the "Omukubiliza" took to the pulpit. This guy is basically the equivalent of the chief whip. Then he started a massive fundraising drive. This is where I need the whole of the church fraternity to read and listen carefully (The CoU is the main culprit). We are weary of these fund raising drives. This particular service I was attending was full of visitors to the parish who were visiting for a Christening. Yet the Omukubiliza  went on to regal the visitors with all the problems that the church has.

 

"The Vicars church has no roof so we need this [obscene amount] of money." The visitors blinked in the light and kept their positions, glued to the pews. Then he said that some random family whom none of the visitors care for had basically repaired the perimeter wall and another amount of money was needed to finish the job. More blinking in the dim light.

 

Then he said that some cards which had been bought by the parishioners where they were supposed to pay for them were needed back. So he said that the money was needed forthwith. I looked at this man with sheer incredulity. 95% of the congregation were visitors. Where did he think they......? I give up. A man felt sorry and he walked up to the front and dropped a scrunched up note in the basket. The Omukubiliza in a very sarcastic tone told us how much the earlier congregation had contributed. I felt like standing up and shouting at him that that was the home crowd! This crowd were not.

 

This is a mistake that very many churches do especially those in the villages. They hold the congregation hostage to a barrage of fundraising initiatives which in the end completely dilute the message that the preacher left. I understand that many of these churches use the service as a community rallying point talking about what is happening in the village; death announcements, those who are ill, wedding banns and many more. But after the sermon please let the wananchi go home. The visitors aren't bothered about your local problems

 

Funny African Proverbs.

"It requires a lot of carefulness to kill the fly that perches on the scrotum" Compiled by Martin Bbaale

Thursday 17th July...MH17.

 

By Arthur Mwenkanya Katabalwa

 

Last evening as I sat having a cup of sweet tea with my brother, my sister in law and my mother when I casually glanced at the news wires feed on my phone and the news from Ukraine about a downed Malaysian airline flashed up on the screen. I read it and immediately passed on the phone to my brother, who took one look at the screen and we both bounded up the stairs to his private quarters to further monitor the events on the TV and the internet. Both of us are news junkies. 

 

A Boeing 777 is an awesome piece of kit. One of my other interests in life is flight. I am sad enough to be able to tell the difference between a Boeing 757 and a Boeing 767 at 37000ft if they are directly above me. And the sound of a Rolls Royce Trent 970 at full pelt is just awesome but let me not bore you all with my borderline anorak fixation with planes. Next time.

 

Having said that, allow me to give you a first hand experience of a Boeing 777 aeroplane cockpit. I once had the chance to be invited onto the flight deck of a British Airways flight as we flew over the Sahara desert, Europe and approach and landing into Gatwick. It was an array of buttons, dials and computer screens. As we flew in the dark at 35000ft over the Sahara, the lack of turbulence made if feel like we were stationary. The flight deck is incredibly small and narrow. It is also very crammed I noticed. Having been used to the port holes in the fuselage of the plane with a view restricted to one side, I found it almost surreal to be looking forwards. The earth floats by almost silently and over the Sahara, we had to manually squawk (broadcast on radio our speed, height and direction) as the radar coverage is sparse. We spoke to other aircraft in this way.

Boeing 777 Flight Deck

 

At these heights, one feels almost detached from reality. At one time we were nearly seven miles up above the Mediterranean and looking outside made me feel almost like we had our existence. That is why I feel sorry for the poor souls who were on that flight as they streaked across the sky above the Ukrainian countryside. It was supposedly late afternoon and with a long flight ahead, many people fall asleep, watch tv or read. I usually look out of the window. 

 

Whatever happened to that flight to cause it to fall out of the sky is still speculation at the moment. But in this day and age planes shouldn't be shot out of the sky especially if they are civilian planes. We should all be able to sit and enjoy the surroundings of these incredible metallic tubes taking us across the globe.

 

We will wait for the judgements of whatever happened to it and if its concluded to be a terrorist attack, the perpetrators should be brought to justice. And if the hand of a sovereign government is involved they should be ready to face international sanctions no matter how large or powerful.

Funny African proverbs

"The man who marries a beautiful woman, and the farmer who grows corn by the roadside have the same problems " (Ethiopia)

Martin Bbaale

Cable Cars in Kampala?

 

 By Arthur Mwenkanya Katabalwa                              

According to a The Daily Monitor article, Dr Jürgen Perschon, the executive director of European Institute for Sustainable Transport (Eurist), a German based non-profit organisation, said the Kampala setting –characterised with dense population, limited space for road network expansion, the only option that can decongest and ease traffic flow in the Central Business District is developing ropeways networks.

A deceptively quiet Yusuf Lule Road this morning.

“Unlike other proposed transport systems such as Bus Rapid Transport, Trams and railways that require space for expansion, the cable cars are independent from the existing infrastructure and traffic. The system requires very little urban space and can therefore access high-densely areas, which other transport means can’t,” he explained according to The Daily Monitor.

 

I don't know whether the said Dr Jurgen Perschon has ever stood at the junction between Kalungi Road and Bukasa Road in the morning waiting for a taxi. Maybe that was when he got the Eureka moment that Kampala needs cable cars. But the residents of the immediate area first of all want a road which is passable. This will make the taxis run on time. The residents also want the Chinese construction company CCCC to work with National Water so that they don't pull up the water and sewage pipes every time they take one of their massive tractors through. The residents also want CCCC to make sure that they pour some water on the road because the dust churned up on a daily basis has completely logged their lungs. The residents near this junction want water to wash their dust covered bodies and mop their houses. Not a cable car system to Kampala.

You see the problem with "experts" is that they look at models, make a few calculations and then they think that they have come up with a brilliant idea. Cable cars are nice. They are interesting to travel in but incorporate them in a mass transit system? I doubt that wisdom. These models have traffic moving in a seemly way. Put a taxi in the mix and it is all so different.

 

Some expert decided it was wise to peg the end of the Entebbe expressway to the Northern by "path". The Northern bypass is now nearly operating to capacity at the Busega end and this is before we add traffic heading to Entebbe. So at a point in the near future, we will have all traffic heading to the west plus a lot of the traffic heading to Entebbe congregate near Busega. A Muganda will then say; "Olyooke olabe akatogo."

 

The government of Uganda worked out something pretty quickly which has worked for Kampala. All the trunk roads into the city are good. And even those that are not repaired have been earmarked for development. There are bottlenecks into the city. Kireka for example is atrocious. Don't even try Nateete, Busega, Kyengera. The traffic snarls up for miles on end. Entebbe road when that school in Kitende has a function is biblical in nature. Anyone going to the airport may as well rebook their flights. But on closer inspection on why this happens is the massive increase in population and the unregulated exit and entry points onto major highways. Other than that, all these roads rush traffic to the outskirts of Kampala then the trouble begins.

 

The doctor says that Kampala doesn't have the space to expand the road network. Wait, before we even dream of expanding the road network let us develop and maintain those that exist. Last night I drove behind Nakumat Oasis in Kampala past Centenary park. I couldn't believe that this was a road in the centre of a capital city. It was incredibly bad.There is space for Kampala to expand. Our problem is the land question. Since most of the land isn't in public ownership, expansion becomes very difficult and cumbersome. Everyone who has the money has built their own houses to their own specifications. Only recently have I had of some regulation on things like location of factories. In Muyenga, the use of corrugated iron sheets for roofing has been banned in some areas. But the transport network in Kampala needs to develop and improve on the available assets. Someone has to critically look at the traffic problem in the city which is so bad it is choking the economy. We may need cable cars in the future. But at the moment they are not the answer to Kampala's traffic jam. It is the road network that is the problem because it is no longer fit for purpose.

An Open Letter To Mark Zuckerberg

Dear Mark,

 

My name is Chris and recently I casually wrote an article on LinkedIn, the largest social network for professionals, sharing my personal experience on why I quit Facebook.

 

Never would I have thought my post gathered almost half-a-million reads in a week, with over 10,000 shares on LinkedIn, thousands of new followers to my posts, and most interestingly and ironically, over 5,000 of your own Facebook 'like'. My article becomes the weekly most discussed on LinkedIn thanks to the overwhelming responses and discussions it initiates. People told me my article is momentarily blocked on Facebook, and some of your own staff have been checking out my Linkedin profile. I know my voice is being heard.

Mark Zuckerberg, founder Facebook.

 

People from all over the world who I never met, after reading my article, send me messages and tweets telling me how much I speak their minds. The big picture here is that Facebook leads every social site in online privacy issues. What strikes me is that even for many who have already quit your site, Facebook remains a very personal matter. People struggles to decide whether they should quit, because there are many personal connections at stake. They are afraid that quitting your site means being disconnected from their own social network and becoming isolated. In my opinion, your site should not be like drugs that gets people addicted. Your site should be a nutritious meal where people feel energized after 'consuming' it.

 

Facebook was a great tool for me. I used to use your site to keep in touch with my friends and peers; I was able to re-connect with my long lost peers; I read funny quotes and received adorable pictures; I used Facebook to organize events and it was a fantastic way to gather people. Unfortunately in recent years, for me, Facebook has become the equivalent of a Digital Dumpster: chaotic and ever-changing privacy settings, useless ads among my news feeds - just to name a few. I didn't feel comfortable putting anything on it anymore. And then there is the Timeline, where your site wants us users to put all our live's matters onto it, all the way back to the times when we were born. It was that moment I told myself 'Thanks, but No Thanks'.

 

Voltaire, the famous French Enlightenment writer and historian, once said, 'With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility'. Although not exactly Spiderman, you are the chairman and chief executive of the most popular and largest social network on earth, therefore you have the responsibility to provide an environment where people can share and interact without worrying about personal data being violated.

 

I admire you and your wife's recent philanthropic works. For starters, Priscilla and myself share the same last name and speak the same Cantonese dialect. I also admire Priscilla's decision to be a physician in San Francisco serving underprivileged families and children. She chose to make a difference in people's lives. I think Facebook can do that as well - make a difference in people's lives instead of exploiting users' privacy and data in the name of profits.

 

I want to come back to Facebook as an user. I want to connect with my online friends once again. I want to see what they are up to. But until the day I feel comfortable enough sharing anything on Facebook, I will avoid your site like a plague. Can you please help ex-users like me rebuild the lost confidence of using your social network?

 

However, I guess it is not easy for you and your team to bring Facebook back to the 'good ol' days', where users can share and can feel safe that their personal data are not being mined continuously and unconsciously to satisfy marketers and advertisers; where psychological experiments are being conducted with users' consent; where privacy settings are robust and are easy to understand; where news feeds are not being manipulated and users can see friends' updates that are important and are meaningful to them; where users do not have to remember to opt out on various marketing initiatives; where hackers (or smart engineers) are synonymous with white-hats; where apologies are properly made when privacy of users have been clearly violated; where parents do not have to worry about their kids meeting strangers on your site; where my every move on the web are not tracked by your cookies. After all, shareholders are king and they want to see increased profitability above anything else.

 

I understand that change is uncomfortable and sometimes painful, but our world changes every day. Humanity embrace changes therefore we have progress as a society. I dream that one day the largest social network will become a destination everyone enjoys hanging out on.

 

Yours Truly,

 

Chris

 

Chris Chan, MBA Is a Project Manager, Client Advisor and enterprise innovation consultant

 

My Twin Is Lesbian

By Arthur Mwenkanya Katabalwa

Recently I had an email from a friend of mine in The USA asking me about sexual attitudes in Uganda especially after the Anti Mini law of Father Lokodo and The Anti Gay bill. I assured him that sexual attitudes in Uganda were not entirely different from the western world. Only difference was that we were allowed to be openly and aggressively anti gay, something which was frowned up on and in fact illegal in the west.

 

It took me back to the only conversation I ever had about sex with my father. While at boarding school, far away from home, scared and confused, two events happened almost simultaneously. Two boys in my school were caught in.....how can I call it,......a compromising situation. They were hauled before the headmaster and given a good ticking off.

 

At the same time, a very close female friend of mine whom I was writing to on a weekly basis was also allegedly caught in a compromising position with another girl at another school. I have since established that this very close friend of mine is actually lesbian. We have been so close for 25 years that we call ourselves twins. Yes, my eternal twin is lesbian and I love her even the more.

 

In a panic, I wrote to my father and told him about the two boys. He drove to my school immediately and told me about gays. Looking back, I realise that my father wasn't gay bashing. He just called it divergent sex. Basically not what was regarded as normal. I placated his mind that I was writing to a multitude of girls while at boarding schools and he increased my monthly allowance. Thanks Dad for the extra money and Rest in Peace.

 

Later on while wasting my youth away, I was on a drunken weekend at Bath Spa University, England, when I first came into contact with "a proper gay". James was stereotypically flamboyant, always in your face and so effeminate! He was so gay. Later on as I got to know him, I realised that he was "just James". Nothing of particular concern other than he shared his room with another man. I plucked up the courage one day and asked him what was the matter with the warmth of a woman that he found so repulsive. He asked me the same question in reverse! From then on, we learnt to respect one another.

 

Then while I "grew up" I befriended a girl called Emma. Very nice, kind and extremely personable. But also very lesbian. She couldn't fathom being intimate with a man. It made her physically sick. We became so close that at times while waiting for a train to work and a pretty woman sauntered by us, we read each others mind and laughed. So strange that we were of opposite sex.

 

The issue of sexuality and the control of sexual relations is as old as humanity itself. We see how religion calls for women to cover their hair or in other cases their whole body. Are we men that weak that any sight of female flesh we go doolaly? That is a way of controlling women. In certain societies, we have female genital mutilation which I personally find so repulsive. Some explain the practice as a way of preventing women from enjoying sex. Why not?

 

But the issue of gays and lesbians in my opinion is a waste of time. The Ugandan journalist, The Old Man Of The Clan Andrew Mwenda once asked how it would be prevented; "Adults are so devious that once you have two consenting adults nothing can be done about it." He said. And as for the spread of gay propaganda to childred, well, lets stop it happening but people are wired up like that. Certainly those boys at my school hadn't read it anywhere. They just knew about it! Having said that, humanity will always go on attacking those who don't belong to the majority consensus; be it racial or sexually. And it isn't just a Ugandan problem. Its humanity as a whole. But is it right?

State House Expenditure.

I don't know whether to weep, cry be angry or laugh. I am waiting for a statement from Tumwebaze. Meanwhile Ofwono Opondo says the Presidency is under resourced!!! They spend, according to this report, more that we spend on Agriculture.

http://www.observer.ug/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=32814&catid=78&Itemid=116

Museveni, Opposition; The Message Needs To Change.

 

By Arthur Mwenkanya Katabalwa

 

I have learnt with shock that President Yoweri Museveni called former President Idi Amin Dada an idiot. Now, whereas I may probably agree with Mr Museveni the private citizen I find it difficult that President Yoweri Museveni has called President Idi Amin Dada an idiot. I don't know what Amin was as a private citizen.

 

You see, the person Yoweri Museveni needs to differentiate (if he can) between himself and The President of The Republic of Uganda. The President of the Republic Of Uganda isn't a private individual but Mr Yoweri Museveni is.

Former Ugandan President Idi Amin Dada.

 

Amin was a brute. I can say that because I am a private individual. Mr Museveni will also agree with me on that  I presume but it opens a can of worms when Museveni in his constitutional capacity as President Of Uganda calls another person who held the same office that he holds an idiot. Because not everyone in Uganda may see Amin as an idiot. Indeed there maybe persons in the country who may see The President Of Uganda, Yoweri Museveni as an idiot but certainly not Mr Yoweri Museveni. It is a different political opinion.

 

The President has always had combative words. in 1986/1987 he called a top Kenyan official an idiot in public at the former Kampala City square. I think the fellow was called Ole Tipis. He laid into him publically. Granted I think the said "idiot" Ole Tipis was messing up our fuel supplies. But there needs to be a certain level of diplomatic speak that the President needs to maintain at all times. I think that this will keep him above the petty fray that exists sometimes.

 

The other thing that I need to point out is that this Obote-Amin story doesn't buy anymore. This government has been in power for longer than any other government known in Uganda. Why do we always have the ghost of Obote and Amin raised? Many youths in Uganda have never known another leader other than Museveni. So when this government constantly calls on the Obote-Amin times as the most evil times the youth don't buy it. They don't know about Amin or Obote. Its flogging a dead horse. Ugandans want to hear what this government is doing on schools, health, corruption and unemployment. And that by the way also applies to the opposition. What alternative ideas have they got rather than agitating for Museveni to go? They too need to get their message right because all we can see are angry disgruntled former NRM lieutenants. 

 

The message needs to change within the Ugandan political elite. With the NRM we don't buy that stuff about Obote-Amin. Change the message. With the opposition, they also risk sinking further into irrelevance because their message is narrow as well. Get off that rubbish about Museveni being removed from power. Show us you are an alternative government in waiting.

The Unpaid Workers of Uganda

 

By Arthur Mwenkanya Katabalwa

 

With the Ugandan youth unemployment rate hovering at 62%, a huge tragedy is unfolding in Uganda. Many of us who wake up everyday to go and work are aware of it; That many of our number are actually not being paid for their work. This, to many is a form of modern day slavery that has come to be accepted as norm.

 

The jobs market in Uganda is volatile. Where we have Universities spewing out graduates by the thousands every year yet there isn't the capacity to accommodate these new workers. The problem is further compounded by the fact that there is no government agency to see to it that those jobs that are created are fairly distributed. So for the new jobseeker on the market, the task is almost daunting to find a job. If one doesn't know of someone who knows of a job opening somewhere, it becomes incredibly difficult.

Job Seekers in Uganda (Monitor Photo)

 

Samalie (not real names) from Nansana graduated with a BA in Business administration from Makerere University in 2011. To this day her only occupation has been her attendance at Watoto Church (former KPC) everyday to mingle with others like her. At 26, she was almost desperate; "I looked for work in every company you can think of" she told me "and many times I was told that I didn't have the experience for the job that I was applying for". It didn't help that she has been in boarding school all her life so where she could have got the experience no one knows. For a long time she worked at a logistics company near Kampala. for seven months, despite the fact that the company was in business, she received no pay. "Management belittled us. especially those of us who were fresh from school, thinking that we didn't need the money." But hers is a success story because three weeks ago, she got a job as a bank cashier at one of the leading commercial banks.

 

Mark Tayebwa is a boda boda man I regulary use to take me back home in the evening. He also graduated from Makerere University in Business  Administration in 2008. After years trying to hustle, working for nearly no pay, he decided to buy a moped which he now uses to ferry people around Kampala, sometimes for less than a dollar. "I was being employed and after months not being paid, I decided to get a loan and buy this boda boda. Now I can say I have an income." Mark has got a wife who is a teacher at one of the primary schools in Mbarara. She is also a graduate from University. Four of my boda boda men at my local boda boda stage are University graduates who got tired of working for no pay.

 

The problem is so ingrained that many employers now act with impunity. I have heard of companies where workers have been sent emails from management saying that as the whole work force had not done a thing the previous month, they would not be paid. The complaint from the workers was that they had actually added value to the company but it hadn't been appreciated. Others complained of managers going abroad just before pay day. When they came back in the middle of the following month nothing was heard of their pay.

 

This problem isn't isolated in the small to medium companies. Even larger companies like insurance firms are in on this dirty game. Many people are employed on a commission basis on top of a paltry wage. Even after all the targets are met, the calculations for the commission can take months.

 

One manager who contacted me decided to fight back however. "My company is small and I have to employ people on a non paid internship basis. If they prove themselves after six months, then I will employ them" I asked him whether he met any costs for the interns and he said he didn't. But I found in interesting that even after the interns contributed to the growth of the company, they saw non of their returns in anyway. His argument? "Some of these new recruits have no workplace experience, they are lazy and many cant even spell!"

 

James Kabigumira a business consultant in Mbarara said that many companies are struggling as well as there is a culture of non payment for goods supplied which impacted on wages and thus impacted on the economy as well. "What needs to be realised is that workers not paid means that there is no money pumped into the economy. There is no spending power in certain parts of society. Therefore these people don't buy goods and services and the providers of these goods and services have nothing on their order books which impacts on manufacturers. We therefore have a self perpetuating situation where there is no money because no one is paying the other is the supply chain."

 

In a study done by Action Aid International Uganda titled "Lost Opportunity", it was noted that the high unemployment rate among the youth poses a serious threat to the well-being of society. And until something is done higher up in the government, many people will wake up tomorrow in Uganda, get dressed smartly, take their kids to school and arrive on time at work fully well knowing that they will not be paid at the end of this month, much the same as several previous ones and many more in the future.

  

We Thought It Was All Over....Its Over Now!

By Arthur Mwenkanya Katabalwa

A good friend of mine, Simon, a leading media and social analyst in Kampala has woken up with a massive problem. It is the real cost of the just concluded world cup. Simon wrote on his twitter feed this morning "The real cost of the #WorldCup2014 final game: Driver - off sick; Askari - MIA; Gardener - bereaved; and you, are you in office yet…?" I hope that no one is off at the office.

We have just had several weeks of denial of the real world. Many of us have been buried in the events that have been played out in Brazil. Yes, for me the highlight was that thrashing of Brazil by Germany...(Can we have the score line again? 7-1....just to rub it in). Thank Google Steet view Ive been in Brazil myself. I know all the back streets of Manaus. Its been a great time...Then it all came shuddering to a halt last night. Now people have got nothing to look forward to.

There are some people who believe that events like The World Cup, The Olympics and the like are a form of social engineering. We all get caught up in the mood and enjoy the spectacle thereby taking our eyes off the political ball. See what happened in Brazil before the tournament started. Riots and all sorts happening. When the football started, they all went back home and watched the matches. When Brazil came crushing out, the Brazilian government worried that riots were about to start again. A look on the international scene and one sees a relatively calm atmosphere save for the ravages that are happening in Syria and Iraq. We seem to have forgotten about the poor girls abducted in Nigeria by Boko Haram. Here in Uganda, we had a distraction with the tragic events in the west. Once the President said something, we all ran back to the football.

This morning however its all back to reality. Even the boda boda men were in a sullen mood. I guess there is an eerie silence in offices up and down the country with all the workers finally hunched on their computers (like me) trying to hammer out some discernible work. Its just the wrong day! To make it worse, this is the wrong day to call in sick! Every manager will know that it isn't about the "paining forehead" but it is due to a late night sleep. Many are licking their wounds.

A day like this is the bane of all managers. And like Simon, they dread the office. At least they can bunk off work but they know fully well that to do so will herald a day of unparalleled unproductivity in the office. The workers have a psychological hangover they don't want to put in a minute of hard work. One may wonder why we don't have these tournaments more frequently? I think the powers that be should consider this. Else The World cup needs to be moved to a different part of the year because June and July represent acres and acres of nothingness. There are probably the most boring months of the year...and the world cup is over. But probably not for Germany and Goetze because "Goetze gotzit for Germany."

 

Dodgy Accounting Errors and Public Cynisism

 

By Arthur Katabalwa

 

I am looking forward to the new working week here in Uganda. More so because we have come to the end of the world cup. Now we can return to the hard work of building Uganda and see the end this season. It has been good though. I certainly didn't cry when Brazil was eliminated from the tournament. Its only a game after all.

 

One of the main talking topics last week was the explosive announcement in parliament by Hon Cecilia Ogwal about the alleged  exorbitant payments to State House employees. The figures were eye watering. The sums were impossible to comprehend. Indeed I posted online the huge gulf in payments that existed (according to that report) between them at State House and the poor teachers.

 

Now, first of all let me say that I am not normally interested in politics; Especially Ugandan politics. Truthfully I find something of the night about it all and that's not just Ugandan but generally. I do have my little causes that I fight for both here in Uganda and my other adoptive home, The United Kingdom. So, on this occasion, where I normally keep a benign interest to politics, this issue caught my eye.

 

Ever since that announcement was made in parliament, I have learnt to believe (probably) that is was a careless mistake by someone in State House. But still, I use the word "probably". I think the balance of truth lies more to the fact that it was a mistake. But the sudden disbelief and failure for some of us to completely believe the story belies another issue.

Hon Frank Tumwebaze

 

You see, I can unashamedly say that in my youth I was an ultra NRM supporter. And I am not ashamed of that record. In fact I am proud of it. But like some in my generation, that fizz has disappeared. Gone are the days when we hanged on, match sticks in our eyes to watch the President in a far off land with maize in his brief case wanting to do barter trade so as to get this country out of the doldrums. The idea in itself was ingenious! Barter trade. And yes, those were the days that we sang the national anthem whole heartedly. But then what happened to find that many people now haven't watched a Presidential Speech in years? Why is it that we have the government of Uganda ashamedly falling asleep through the budget speech? Its a shame! Because like the saying says "Abantu Bakoowu".

 

When that announcement was made in Parliament, people were being slaughtered by the tens in Bundibugyo and the surrounding districts. A huge tragedy in itself on the people of Uganda. Yet I detected, maybe unscientifically, that to many people in other parts of the country, the tragedy was being left in the newspapers. This is the kind of cynicism that is creeping into the hearts and minds of Ugandans. The same cynicism that's making many Ugandans fail to agree with the report made by Hon Frank Tumwebaze; who also in my view has lost a bit of credibility with the public after that Kampala Mayor stuff. You see, Tumwebaze (with all his honesty [probably]) took the bullets for the government in that debacle. When he was then fronted to clear up the mess of that dodgy accounting error, people viewed him with disdain.

 

Whether it was a clerical error or not, there will always be those who will not be persuaded otherwise. They have there valid reasons. State House has not been seen as very transparent with the public purse. The public is concerned about the endless "supplementary budgets", the masses of Presidential Advisors; that list of the allegedly highly paid state House employees (what do they all do by the way apart from Sarah Kagingo?) and the feeling that there is a parallel government run from Nakasero. The interesting thing though is that the head of it all, President Yoweri Museveni seems to be above the fray. Single handedly, the public seems to want to isolate him from the scandals like an elderly father.